The first-ever word between any two people is a lie.

From a Men's Health newsletter today.

The following text is below a picture of a woman in a showy shirt looking toward the camera. Ten yards behind her are three men taking a look at the...um...back of her shirt.

Once in a while, it helps to look at life from the other side.

Which is why we recommend that you watch The Oprah Winfrey Show today.

You heard us right. Dave Zinczenko, the editor-in-chief of Men's Health, appears with Oprah on today's show. The topic: Helping women over 35 find single men.

The Men's Health staff prepared a special "MetroGrades" ranking to show women where they might find a guy.

Why does this matter to you? First, this information is conversational gold when you're out this weekend. And if you live in one of the top cities, be on the lookout for women with newfound enthusiasm for meeting guys.

Doesn't matter what city you're in, women love to talk about relationships. And lots of them will watch Oprah today.

Tell them you watched, too. They'll love that. The rest is up to you.

It's so conniving!

And yet it's so male.

Ladies, the lies don't stop until many many months. Keep that in mind. Eventually, he may tell you about the lies, but he'll describe them in such a way that you'll think he's cute. After all, if you've still got him, then you've probably won, so it's probably OK to call him cute... But just think about all of the awful things he was thinking before you won.

Note from a 4th grader who loves science

I received this from one of the 4th graders (a girl) that I teach as part of my graduate fellowship. Pretty cute stuff.

Watch out for the crossdressers!

Notice: I have nothing but sympathy for the people in the Virginia Tech community at the subject of most of the news this week. The following is a criticism of people who have nothing to do with VT.

The following make some sense. After all, so soon after such an event, there might be copycat killers. Plus, such an event just makes people feel vulnerable.

Lockdowns And Evacuations Reported In Seven States Tuesday

There were lockdowns and evacuations at schools in seven states Monday, a day after the Virginia Tech shooting rampage.

Police arrested a 53-year-old man for allegedly giving a student a note threatening a mass killing similar to the carnage at Virginia Tech.

An evacuation was ordered at St. Edward's University in Austin, Texas, because of a threatening note and officials cancelled classes for the day.

There were also reports of a man with a gun outside a high school in Rapid City, S.D.

A number of buildings were evacuated at North Dakota State University when a duffel bag was found at a bus stop.

So all that made sense. However, the story continues . . .

And a private school in Michigan was locked down when a man dressed in a skirt, blond wig and wearing lipstick was seen near the building.

WHAT?!

They Call Me the Quantifier...

A colleague saw this and thought of me... I thought it was pretty funny. :)

Note: I feel there are exactly two layers to the humor in that comic.