Sunday, March 05, 2006

Down With Dildos!

Two state legislators in Tennessee want to ban dildos ("three-dimensional device[s]")!

Down With Dildos! (Two state legislators say no to sex toys)
To wit: Senate Bill 3794 (House Bill 3798), legislation that would make it illegal to sell, advertise, publish or exhibit to another person “any three-dimensional device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs….” For that matter, if you offer to show someone your dildo collection—or possess a vibrator with the intent to show it to someone—you’d be violating this proposed state law. And don’t even think about wholesaling those three-dimensional sex toys.

I wonder if the "used primarily" part will cause any problems. Take any blunt object that has a diameter about the size of your average pleasure rod. Now make a histogram of all of the things you can do with that blunt object. If "stimulation of human genital organs" happens to beat out all of the rest, then I guess your blunt object is contraband. Is that how it would work?

What if you could prove that while the object is marketed for stimulation of genital organs, you primarily use it as a meat tenderizer? Would that be an exception?

Nonetheless, this Tennessee legislative tag-team went ahead and introduced their bill last Thursday, and on Monday, it passed a perfunctory first reading. In other Monday developments, Tennesseans died from a lack of health care, remained poorly educated and were among the most obese state populations in the nation.

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