Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Oral Sex is the New 3rd Base!

Katie Couric did a special on teens and sex tonight.

It turns out the bases have been redefined!!

1st Base: Kissing
2nd Base: Making Out
3rd Base: Oral Sex

I feel **OLD**.


Jenn Onofrio said...

When you told me this the other day, I thought you were trying to come on to me. Huh. Interesting stuff.

What are you doing watching Katie Couric shows anyway??

So, if the bases are redefined as such, does that mean "going all the way" is now also known as "contracting venereal disease?" Oy vey. I have to say, though: I'd rather have 1st Base be kissing than having my ankle see the light of day. This is also because I'm a whore, so my comment may mean nothing.

Theo said...

In the old days, 3rd base was the base that the guy had to get to in order to get all the way home. There was kissing (1st), under the shirt (2nd), down the pants (3rd), and then all the way home (sex).

Apparently girls have come up with a way to turn most home runs into just triple plays. Personally, I think that all they've done is introduced a REALLY GOOD short stop.

The girls now group nearly all the bases into 2nd base. Then they GIVE oral sex at "third base." This apparently appeases their boyfriends into coming away from the game without a score. Thus, the girl comes away from the encounter without a rejection from the guy, and the guy still comes away happy most times.

So, again, it really looks like girls are using the same old bases, just putting a better player at short stop.

Now, how does your ankle enter into all of this?