Monday, December 27, 2004

Modification to "Nice Guys Don't Have to Finish Last" Post

So on December 12, 2004, I created a post entitled "Nice Guys Don't Have to Finish Last." This was meant to be a commentary on the whining that I was subjected to every day on countless other random blogs. The conclusion of this article is that "nice guys who finish last aren't really nice guys."

Now, I posted this same commentary in a slightly different form on my home page, on which it had turned up in someone's search results (and thus in my web site statistics). I looked at other pages listed along side it, and I found one that came to almost the same conclusion using slightly different reasoning and FAR fewer words.

So I wanted to advertise that at, in the author's Nice Guys article, she shares the same sentiment as my Nice Guys Don't Have to Finish Last post, and so I somehow feel a bit verified.

Here's a quote from her article. Go to her site for more information:
So what are these attributes that "nice guys" have that turn women most women off? To be brutally honest, self-proclaimed "nice guys" often exhibit feminine traits. Even in the 21st century, most women are still looking for macho guys. Perhaps it's cultural or maybe it's instinctual – women look for the best provider and father for their children.

I have some gay guy friends, and I realized that I have the same reaction to gay guys as I do to nice guys. So here's the harsh truth: Nice guys finish last because women detect the same kind of vibe from them as they do from gay men. That's why women love to be friends with nice guys, but are not interested in them romantically.

I can hear the whining and denials already. Herds of nice guys are protesting that they are not gay or giving off a gay vibe. Yes, You Are. Don't blame it on assholes for stealing all the women away from you. Something about you is turning women off, and the sooner you admit it, the sooner you can get past it.

I'm not saying that these so-called nice guys are necessarily gay or bisexual – don't misunderstand me. Nor am I saying gay guys are like these nice guys. What I'm saying is that women pick up on some weakness in nice guys that they perceive as "feminine", so nice guys get lumped into the same category as gay men would in a woman's subconscious -- a folder labeled "Not Husband Material".

And funny enough, even more support can be found at CoN from Jason MacIsaac in Nice Guys Fish Last (And They Don't Deserve Your Sympathy):
Recently, the Nice Guy phenomenon has caught the attention of pop culture. I've seen webpages dedicated to Nice Guys, and there's a lot of sympathy built up for them. I even used to be a Nice Guy. And yet, I have absolutely no sympathy for Nice Guys. Zero. You whiny bunch of losers deserve everything you get.
We are taught to be giving and forgiving. These things are good things to be. But we should also be taught emotional triage. Give your love abundantly to those who appreciate and respect it, and the rest will just have to be ignored if there isn't any left over. We can't save a person determined to drown. So there comes a time when we have to stop rescuing them, and tell them to swim instead.

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