Thursday, July 20, 2006

Stay away from the Kiwano

So, I bought one of these tonight. I was curious, and I thought I heard good things about it. (though I think what I actually heard about was an Ugli fruit, not this, which is a Kiwano)

As I was purchasing this $3.99 fruit from Kroger, the cashier got CUT by its spikes and had to warn the bagger to be careful when handling it. This was probably a sign that I had made the wrong choice in purchasing this fruit. (maybe the $3.99 was the first sign that I missed)

So I got home... and I really wasn't sure what to do with this thing. I'm sure the skin wasn't edible. So I figured I'd look it up. I found this:

fruit reviews - kiwano horned melon

This is exactly what I wanted. And the first quarter of the page got me really excited!

it's so perfect, it makes you want to believe in god.

Then I kept reading. The next the quarters of the page are the funniest thing I've read in a long time.

to reassure myself after the fact, i found a page all about the damn thing, which gave me the following useful information:

[bitter, nonvolatile compounds] are present in [the kiwano], making it extremely bitter. These compounds are very toxic to mammals, however as they are the most bitter substances known they are also feeding deterrents and very rarely eaten by mammals.

"very toxic to mammals"? heh, well, that's alright then!

And you know what? This review is 100% SPOT ON! I had the EXACT SAME EXPERIENCE when I tried to eat mine. However, I didn't force myself to finish mine. I threw it away. It was just too much.

Anyway, definitely check out the review. Hilarious. Funny stuff. And it's short! Very quick read!

Never buy a Kiwano. Just stay away. In fact, I've heard good things about New Zealand, but after experiencing this thing, I'm starting to think about abandoning any future plans to visit there. Just too scary.

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