A snippet...
I couldn't sleep last night. My mind raced with unrelated topics: my male "friends"' tendency to act differently toward me on the basis of my relationship status (I find this grating, but whatever); art project ideas combined with a rekindled desire to improve the decor of the apartment; differential diagnoses for Granny's mysterious fatal illness (who but me comes up with this obscure crap at 3 AM?); and of course the continually recurring analysis of love or something like it. I should have known I would end up tossing and turning by the dreaded onset of that impatience I get for life to "happen," which entered me during the evening hours and which will likely persist until God-knows-when.
I have come to realize that boyfriends calm me, bringing satisfaction to the here and now, which becomes dreadfully boring in their absence. When I can't have love, I look for the next best thing: for me, adventure - travel, life dreams, everything big and abstract, and arguably unfulfilled by reality. I am such a dreamer!! My idealism fuels the fire that creates experiences beyond imagination. I have accomplished more than the average joe - shared more, been to more places, loved deeper, thought harder. But that same fire, when I am required by circumstance to succomb to the mundanity of daily living... it burns me up. It makes me uncomfortable.
For some reason, entries like this are really comforting to me. Apparently we're all as crazy as everyone else.
I think that's why comedy is so relaxing. Someone says something that you had no idea anyone else thought... and at that moment you realize everyone is just as crazy as you are. The laughter is your catharsis, really.
So yeah... Rock on, Marcie the med student.
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